Love, Hate, Love
by alsy
Summary: songfic to Love, Hate, Love by Alice in Chains. My first shot at a fanfic. Ginny/Draco


Author Note: This is a songfic in an AU where Voldemort was not defeated in Harry's seventh year. The song is Love, Hate, Love by Alice in Chains. It's my first fanfic attempt so I hope you like it.

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**I tried to love you I thought I could  
I tried to own you I thought I would  
I want to peel the skin from your face  
Before the real you lays to waste**

Ginny thought Draco had changed.

Before switching sides to the Order he had been a Death Eater for three years. After Draco's screw ups in his seventh year at Hogwarts it had taken him a while to bring himself up from the bottom of the totem pole. He had been given more responsibilities and better missions each time he moved up a step. It was on one of these missions however, that he was captured by a fringe vigilante group in the wizarding world. They had tortured him for weeks after extracting information from him with Veritaserum. When he finally escaped from that horrible place he had sought out the safety of the Death Eaters hideout. Perfectly safe—or so he had believed.

The Dark Lord had punished him for his failings after he returned. Voldemort had tortured him with every curse he knew, stopping short of killing him. Draco wished he could die. After he had let off, Draco ran to the only place he knew was safe. He fled to Hogwarts. Where the first person he saw was the youngest Weasley girl. He remembered her vaguely from his Hogwarts years but didn't know why she was still there.

Apparently, the Order of the Phoenix had taken residence in Hogwarts since it was the safest place in wizarding England. He had been wary about joining the Order at first, and they had been mistrustful of him, and rightly so. Ginny had felt that way about him too at first. Eventually they came to care for each other deeply. Draco needed that kind of close relationship with someone after what he had gone through in the past few months. He wanted to be able to trust someone completely. Draco thought he had that with Ginny.

Ginny had come to see a different side of Draco on missions though. A private side that she wished he had kept buried forever. They had gone on a mission one afternoon, just the two of them. It was to a house where suspected Death Eater activity had been spotted. When Draco went in that house it was all his nightmares revisited. Two of the men in there he recognized from his month with the vigilante group. After a protracted duel Ginny stunned two of the wizards and turned to help Draco.

What she saw chilled her. Draco was using crucio on the remaining wizard, who looked to be in terrible pain. She stunned the man and immediately turned to Draco, "What on earth are you thinking Draco! Are you insane?!"

Draco said looking shocked, "I don't know why I just did that. All I could think about was making him pay."

She talked to him hardly at all that night, but Draco needed her more than any other time. Ginny was seeing a side of Draco that terrified her and chilled her to the bone.

**You told me I'm the only one  
Sweet little angel you should have run  
Lying, crying, dying to leave  
Innocence creates my hell**

Ginny noticed this side of Draco more and more as they went on more missions together and with other members of the Order. He would do little cruel things, like cause unnecessary pain to suspects. Ginny feared he would use the killing curse on one of these missions. Ginny hated the man Draco was turning out to be. She wondered if he had ever really changed at all. She started seeking comfort in the arms of other Order members, trying to find happiness with other men who reminded her of the Draco she loved.

When Draco caught her in her lies he had been angry and sad. It broke her heart since she had tried to help Draco find the caring, sweet, funny man she fell in love with. Every night she had cried to him, begging him to tell her why he was changing. She was waiting for him to remember that man and expel the ugly part of his soul that seemed to be devouring him whole.

**Cheating myself still you know more  
It would be so easy with a whore  
Try to understand me little girl  
My twisted passion to be your world**

When Draco discovered her betrayal he was furious. He believed that Ginny was someone he could be with for the rest of his life. He loved and trusted her completely. Now he just wanted her to hurt as much as she had hurt him. He threw himself in the beds of women who meant nothing to him and said cruel things to his ex-lover just to spite her. He thought he had been Ginny's whole world. Now he was consumed with hurt and hatred for her.

**Lost inside my sick head  
I live for you but I'm not alive  
Take my hand before I kill  
I still love you, but, I still burn**

Draco truly didn't know why he had turned into someone so cruel and hateful. He hated his torturers with a passion. He saw their faces every night with his hands covered in their blood. But he didn't want to be that way. Even as a Death Eater he wasn't so messed up. Those events had changed him and he didn't know if it was permanent. He still loved Ginny more than anything and would do anything if she could help him before he became truly evil like the Dark Lord. He knew that she could be his salvation. He loved her most in the world and also hated her for the pain she caused.

**Yeah, love, hate, love**


End file.
